Setting boundaries is not about closing out others.
It’s about letting yourself in.
We often feel guilty when we set boundaries.
It’s because women were trained from childhood to take care of other people’s emotional needs.
And put their own in the other hand.
This is part of our co-operation to the patriarchy.
The men are responsible for their exploitative, controlling part of the whole picture.
We have responsibility for ours.
Do you want to feel safer, stronger and increase your self-esteem?
Create clear limits.
In advance, not as a reaction – and keep your positions.
Keep your fellow people responsible.
Strong, safe and founded.
Don’t clean up after them.
Then you don’t just do yourself a disservice, but also them.
You steal their opportunity to see, learn and take responsibility.
We’ve done that for generations.
It may sound hard, and lots of exceptions and excuses reveal themselves.
And of course there are situations when you have to step in and find out situations.
But our lives are full of cleaning up other people’s shit.
I’ve seen this clearly with myself.
The other’s experience is not my responsibility.
In the first room, I have to honor myself, my feelings and needs.
From that point of view, I can relate to others in a true loving way.
It’s like the oxygen on the plane.
You put on the baby first, you pass out and both die.
You have to cherish yourself first.
The first step is to get to know yourself.
Heal your wounds
Then you can take responsibility, and through the save world.
That sounds like a childish simplification.
But it’s the truth.
The future of humanity depends on the fact that women heal their wounds.
So many women have been indued to put other people’s needs before their own.
©Kristina Turner Urban Goddess 2018